Why I Can’t Sleep

5 02 2011

So often, as I go through tests and chemo treatments, I return from the hospital fatigued, nauseous, down for the count.

Many times, people say to me, “You should get some rest.”

And I should. I know that’s an important part of the armor I need to wear in this battle. Rest. Keep myself as physically strong as possible.

But, then I look at Theo, and I think:

How can I waste time sleeping, with the knowledge that these could be my last days, weeks, months spent with him, as his Mommy, here on Planet Earth?

Could you sleep?

— Amy Rauch Neilson




8 responses

5 02 2011
Sherri Novis


5 02 2011

If you do want or need to sleep to experience some of its restorative benefits, there is some research showing that melatonin can help people with cancer, and it also seems to extend life. Dosages are about 20 mg a day. taken at night.

5 02 2011
Sherri Novis

But you’re not going anywhere! So get some good sleep so you can be fully present with him when you are!

I love you Aims. Theo-cutie-pie-butt too.

5 02 2011
Amy Rauch Neilson

Love you, too, Sher. More than you can know.

5 02 2011

Hello there I was referred to you by Melody Provenzano… How old is your child?? Although I never had breast cancer..I do have a brain tumor…I too have young kids (well they are older now and the tumor is stable); my youngest was 3 my oldest was 8. My in-laws were a super help to my husband and I…they took the 3yr old to preschool 2x a week. My son had started afternoon kindergarten…some mornings he would go with my father-in-law, other mornings we both would lay on the sofa…him in the crook of my knees and his head on my hip. Those days are hard to remember…but have a sweet essence to them also. So when people tell you to sleep, you should ask them if they would like to come over and play a board game with your child:) May God bless you with strength and courage to endure what he sends your way…You are in my prayers…Blessings to you and yours Ellen Laurentius

5 02 2011
Amy Rauch Neilson

He’s a beautiful, witty, pure, joyful five year old!

5 02 2011
Scott Orwig

That’s an excellent reason for us all to re-evaluate what’s important, let go of daily drama, and enjoy our limited time with those we love. And it’s also a great reason to sleep! Sleep isn’t a waste of time. As you say, it’s part of your therapy to stay around with Theo.

Knowing what you need to do to reach remission is one of the reasons you’ll be on the right side of the odds!

6 02 2011
Becky Pachota

Amy, I’m so proud of you and I’m thankful that I can call you a friend. I have never met a stronger, hard working, and full of life person such as yourself. You are a breath of fresh air. You inspire everyone you come in contact with. I know you will beat this again, and I will do whatever you need to help you reach goals you have set for yourself. Thank you Amy for being you and inspiring me to be a better person. Love Becky

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: