I finished my chemotherapy treatment today, but despite the Procrit infusion I was given on Tuesday in the hopes that it would boost my low hemoglobin, my counts actually fell lower between Tuesday and today. So, I am in the ER, waiting for two units of blood, which will take about six to seven hours to infuse.
There isnt time for any of the wonderful people who wanted to donate blood for me to do that this time, but my nurse did contact the Red Cross for next time. I will share the protocol for donating, specifically marked for me and my future needs, asap.
At times like this, I fear that my body is falling apart, one piece at a time, and I pray that I get through this, find my way to remission and to starting and leading the vision of my foundation.
Right at this moment, I just feel so tired and defeated. This is not where I want to be. More than anything, I just want to be home on a Friday night with my family, snuggled up in bed, watching a movie together.
Today, my son’s Easter Break began. Usually, i’d be at gymnastics with him and my sister-in-law, Carrie, and her four year old, Mara. We’d be bouncing and giggling on the trampolines and then off to Mickey D’s for a cheeseburger.
But I had to be here instead and I really hate that.
When I told Theo I couldn’t go to gymnastics today, but had to go to the doctor’s instead, his face fell. It crushed me.
Copyright 2011, Amy Rauch Neilson