When every day will seem normal again, and not life-or-death? When my biggest decision will be water park or sprinkler park with my son on a hot summer’s day? Free of days when I must choose to get treatment and give myself shots that will cause severe bone pain, which is far better than the other choice — no treatment at all and the unthinkable consequences that would follow?
Will there every come a time again when it’ll be second nature to be able to do the things that make us human, that make us feel normal, like get frustrated when someone cuts us off in traffic or worry about something a client said? To wonder how I’m going to squeeze in stopping for a gallon of milk or how we’ll scrape together the cash for something we really need?
I am not even sure sometimes that I know or even recall, after just a few months of enduring the terror of and treatment for a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis, what normal is, but I do know that I want it back.
Copyright 2011, Amy Rauch Neilson