Mary Cox, a friend of my niece Taylor Blake, shared this quote from Lance Armstrong several days ago and, when I find myself in a difficult moment, whether it be from physical or psychological pain — or both — I hit the playback button in my mind and recall these words from Lance:
“You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row…. NEVER QUIT!! ”
To say it’s been a tough week would be an understatement. It’s been downright excruciating on so many levels, and terror-filled. I still cannot believe the cancer has moved into my back — and rail at the sheer pain.
Yes, I can walk a short distance. But anything farther than car door to the doorway of my destination requires a wheelchair. This is new territory for me and it’s given me a new perspective. God does indeed have a sense of humor.
Friday afternoon, my niece Natalie wheeled me through Kohl’s, then left me in Men’s Pajamas as she wandered off to look at belts and dress socks. I could only stand to stare at the rack of plaid bottoms for so long before I called out to her, and she came to retrieve me from the midst of the flannel forest.
The pain is tough and I’m doing my best to control it, to find that balance between totally out of it and able to function with my family. I’d rather have to grin and bear a little pain than be in an ongoing drugged state.
I take my last dose of steroids tomorrow and they do seem to be helping me to make progress. My medical team said most of my short-term improvement would likely come from the steroids and their ability to ease the inflammation. My back seems slightly improved and my lower lip and chin, which had both been numb, are starting to itch, which I think is a sign the feeling is returning.
It has been a tough week, but it’s behind me now and I’m looking ahead. Lance’s quote inspires me, and, in addition, some very exciting news and opportunities had come my way in the days leading up to the hospital debacle.
I have so much to share in that regard — really exciting stuff. So, that’s the plan for this week. Keep on resting and recovering, but also moving in the direction of my goals and dreams.
Thank you for your continued prayers. I need every single one of them.
Thank you also for storming heaven on my behalf. I know God expects nothing less from me and my friends and family. Grin. And like Lance, I am most blessed in that area of my life.
Copyright 2011, Amy Rauch Neilson